if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My hand turned me down
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
