So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
