I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
it was like eating out sand paper
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
