Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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