if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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