Where did you get a picture of my penis
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
