Sry I called you an 8
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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