you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
