Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
