Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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