well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
