I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Randomize
