All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize