Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
