Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He has the fingertips of a God
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
