I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
