hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
This show inspires me to have sex in space
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
