You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
