Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
