You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
