Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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