you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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