I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
