Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You can't special order awesome
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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