so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
