Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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