Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
