Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Houston, we have a squirter
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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