I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
