STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
