I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize