considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
