he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
