I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
