Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
