Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
