k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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