After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
