I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
