Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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