His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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