Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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