My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize