I wannas sexs uuuuu
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
should my penis look like a turkey
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
