great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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