Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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