please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
