hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
