well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
