I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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