Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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