never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
