I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just found puke in my bra..
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
