dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize