I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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