I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
