So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
