what day is it and did you see me today?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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