Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
