she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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