yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
