What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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