Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Randomize
