I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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