My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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