Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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