I accidentally had phone sex last night
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
