Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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