so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
