Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I hate all girls vehemently.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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