LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
it's like iHOP with fire
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
