I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
