OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
