my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
she pinky promised me she was 18
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
