she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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