her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
