I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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