we're chasing vodka with high fives
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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