His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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