she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
