good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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