i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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